Germany Isn't Scary (Anymore): Opening the Window

These are my parents.


In one month they will make the arduous journey from Idaho to Germany to see us. Neither of them have ever left the continental United States, and they're pretty nervous. So, in an effort to quell their anxiety, AD is introducing a sporadic month-long series titled: "Germany Isn't Scary (Anymore)". In this series we will do tutorials on and learn about some of the ins and outs of German life that my parents will likely encounter during their stay.

For our first lesson, we will learn about German windows, which Americans, including myself, always find weird. Here is our living room window, which I will use as an example.


You'll notice it's large, that it's one piece and that it has no screen. It obviously doesn't slide open like American windows. But the apartment's getting stuffy, and you need some fresh air. And fast! Before haphazardly attacking hinges and handles, which will likely result in the window falling off its hinges all together (believe me, I've done it), take a deep breath and remember the following tutorial.

First of all, know that are two ways to open a German window. You can tip it open, like this:


Or you can open it all the way, like this:


Modern German windows are relatively easy to work — you twist the handle so that it's horizontal to open the window all the way and vertically upside-down to tip the window.

But our windows are vintage German Democratic Republic (read: junk) and so it's a little more complicated.

Let's look at the moving parts. First we have the handle.


Next, you'll notice the levers on the two hinges, one along the bottom of the window ...


and the other along the right edge of the window.


The first rule is NEVER EVER EVER open both levers at once. As previously mentioned, the window will fall off.

To tip the window, flip up the the lever on the RIGHT EDGE of the window only. (It's a good idea to check the bottom lever and make sure it is securely closed.)


Then grip and pull up on the handle.


The top of the window will pop out and settle into a perfect tip (see above).

If you want to open the window all the way, simply reverse the levers in the process. Flip open the BOTTOM lever only, making sure the right lever is secure.


Then pull up on the handle, as previously explained, and voila. You are at once one with nature and fully equipped to spit on unsuspecting passers-by.

The end.



JEM