American Dresdner: Have you become a hermit?
Jasmine E. Michaelson: Well, hermit is such a harsh word.
AD: Let me rephrase that. How many times have you left the apartment in the last three days?
JEM: Twice.
AD: What did you do?
JEM: I met Jake for lunch one time and the other time I took out the garbage.
AD: Taking out the garbage does not count as leaving the apartment.
JEM: Why not? I had to put on shoes.
AD: Did you tie them?
JEM: No.
AD: Then it doesn't count. Why have you become a hermit?
JEM: I still disagree with the word choice, but to answer your question, it just happened. I made no conscious decision to become a "hermit" (makes air quotes with fingers). The weather's been really gray and miserable and I just haven't felt particularly motivated to go out and have adventures.
AD: Critics may say you are wasting the chance of a lifetime by being a hermit while living in Europe, something many people dream of doing, but never get the chance to do. What is your response to these critics?
JEM: I can't visit museums and cathedrals and listen to street musicians every day, I'm sorry.
AD: Why not?
JEM: I've got important stuff to do around the apartment.
AD: Like what?
JEM: Like sweeping up dust bunnies, reheating leftovers and writing my awesome novel.
AD: I suppose that's a legitimate use of time. Assuming it's not complete garbage.
JEM: It's not. Only about 45 percent garbage. The rest is self-indulgent drivel.
AD: How much time have you spent on it today?
JEM: About two hours.
AD: And what did you do the rest of the day?
JEM: Took out the garbage.
AD: And that took six hours?
JEM: This interview is over. (Tears microphone off shirt and storms from room in huff.)
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ReplyDeleteWe are three moms eating cake with our shoes on in Heathers house. Our 15 kids are running around us and we would like to come to Dresden and "take out the garbage" (air finger quotes).
ReplyDeleteI agree with AD. If you're being a hermit while living in Europe I'm going to be very.. ummm.. mad? Come on Jaz, finish your novel! I'm dying for something new an interesting to read!!
ReplyDeleteHey guys! I'm glad you found our nerd shots on our blog. Wow, you are living it up in Germany? I'm jealous. You better be getting out and becoming one with that place. You'll regret it if you don't. It's good to know that you and Dani still keep in touch. What a good visiting teacher!j/k (remember she was yours?) So what is Jake studying and for how long will you be there? Jaz- What color is your hair right now. I love that you are the woman of every hair color. I don't know of anyone else that can do what you do. Take care!
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad, when I lived in Europe, I was a hermit too!
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